Dear Boy Scouts of America,

I spent many years in scouting, beginning as a Cub Scout and continuing on in Boy Scouts until I was 17, a few badges shy of the rank of Eagle. I learned a lot from your organization, and at certain points in my rather painful teenage years, the Boy Scouts were my primary social group, the one place I could go to feel accepted.

Let me stress that point. The most important aspect of Scouting, for me, was that sense of acceptance.

So you might wonder why I dropped out. There were two reasons.

  1. Disillusionment with our local adult leaders, who seemed more interested in power than in creating good experiences for the kids.
  2. The Boy Scouts’ ongoing discrimination against homosexuals.

The former is something that happens anywhere. These are volunteer positions, and while some of the leaders were awesome, some were not. There will always be petty, power-hungry people who try to carve out little kingdoms for themselves in any organization.

The latter, on the other hand… Well, back in 1991 when I was dropping out, Parvin L. Bishop, National Director of Program of the BSA, was in court explaining that:

“…the requirements that a scout be ‘morally straight’ and ‘clean’ are inconsistent with homosexuality, and therefore known or avowed homosexuals or those who advocate to scouting youth that homosexual conduct is morally straight or clean, will not be registered as adult leaders.”

My response as a 17-year-old boy was something along the lines of, “Go to hell.”

That was 20 years ago, but it doesn’t look like things have changed. In 2009, after rejecting a lesbian couple from volunteering as Cub Scout leaders, Richard Stockton, Scout executive for the Green Mountain Council explained, “The national policy of the Boy Scouts of America is we don’t accept gays and lesbians as volunteers.”

My response to your discriminatory policies, 20 years later, is likewise unchanged.

This has created a dilemma for me. You see, my son heard about the local Cub Scout pack at his school’s open house, looked at the activities they did, and wanted to join.

My son is autistic, and my wife and I are working hard to find opportunities for him to socialize with other kids and improve those skills. I remember how much scouting gave to me as a child, and I suspect it would be just as helpful for my son, if not more so. And this is what he wants.

A six-year-old won’t understand that his father is uncomfortable with the organization he wants to join because the people who run that organization are engaging in their constitutionally-protected right to be bigoted douchebags. (I’m paraphrasing the court decision here a little bit.)

On the other hand, in signing him up for Cub Scouts, I’m writing a check to an organization that believes many of my friends and loved ones are unclean and immoral. I’m supporting an organization that actively discriminates against them.

As angry as I am at you for putting me into that position, I’m even more pissed at what you’re doing to your members. When I sat in on the local pack meeting a few weeks back, I found myself wondering how many of these kids would grow up and realize that they aren’t, in fact, heterosexual. At which point they’ll find that the organization they’ve been a part of for so many years is ready and eager to condemn them, and to turn its back on them.

In the end, we signed my son up and wrote the check. He wants to be a Cub Scout like his cousin, and I don’t feel okay with letting my beliefs stand in the way of that. My own conflicts aside, I think this will be a good experience for him. He’s enjoying it so far, and apparently made a bit of a splash at his last meeting when he explained what justice was by likening it to the Justice League of America.

I don’t know if this was the right decision. But I do know that for every check we write to the BSA, I plan to write a matching check to an organization that works to end discrimination against homosexuals. (Suggestions welcome.)

According to the supreme court, you have the right to discriminate. Just as I have the right to speak out against that discrimination, and to limit my support of your organization until you change those policies.

Actually, speaking out against your policies feels more like a duty, one based on things like loyalty to my friends and loved ones; trying to help other people who have been victims of your bigotry; and following my own moral principals.

You know, things I learned in Scouting.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

xap: celtic circle (a - celtic)

From: [personal profile] xap

Apologies for the novelette (novela?)


This is something I _very_ much understand. I actually became involved with our local Cub Scout pack almost 2 years before my son was eligible, due to my (now ex-)husband & family (longer story). This Sunday I spent 11 hours at the Moose Lodge working our Troop's Spaghetti Dinner fundraiser, and someone I've known since the beginning commented on it having been over a dozen years. In many ways Scouting (BSA) has been very good to me, as well as to my son. And my daughter, even though she can't officially join anything for another 1.5yrs (still up for consideration).

But as you noted the stance that the National organization not only takes, but has actually fought for, is horrid. They've taught both of my children many, many valuable things, but this is NOT a lesson that should be taught, nor is it in line with so many of their other values (regardless of the face some try to put on it). While on the one hand I know that part of my job as a parent is to ensure that *I* teach this difference (and the lessons that I feel are right/should be taught), there's also the potential overall message to many others....who may not have the same background or alternate lessons to balance against :(

Something else that you noted is also very true. The main level is _local_ volunteers. Who often have little to do with the National speakers. Sometimes this can be problematic (like the leaders at the end of your youth involvement)....but many other times, like in our case, this can be good - much more likely to have flexibility and such. While we don't have any gay youth in our group at the moment, we have had some that are Bi and it wasn't an issue. There is no 'spouting' of party-line, etc....just support and mentoring and many good and valuable things. The one adult we did have who had discriminatory views (in many areas) was asked to leave. And yes, it likely is 'rationalization' on my part - but given how much of our local-level activities, ideals, etc I do agree with, well I don't mind supporting those. Since National gets less than $5 a year from me I don't really consider that support either. And we try to do our part to support and encourage GLBT groups and individuals...in addition to my working to teach my kids acceptance, tolerance, and how to determine & promote/protect what _they_ feel is right.

It's not perfect....but neither am I. Just a human, trying to juggle what I can, and hoping to get the balance right a bit more than I get it wrong.
xap: celtic circle (Default)

From: [personal profile] xap

Re: Apologies for the novelette (novela?)


One more note/offer - my son will be at Windy again this year. If you'd like to talk to someone who's 'been through the ranks' (from Tiger->Arrow of Light as a Cub, now finishing up his Eagle application for the Troop as well as President of his Venture Crew) and also supports local events (part of National Day of Silence at his school, etc), gay rights, and so on, let him know.
jain: Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist leaning against a truck. Text: "Ford is a metaphor for our love" (brokeback mountain)

From: [personal profile] jain


But I do know that for every check we write to the BSA, I plan to write a matching check to an organization that works to end discrimination against homosexuals. (Suggestions welcome.)

Lamda Legal does good work. While it has a broader focus than just LGBT rights, I'd also recommend the ACLU...which, bonus!, is working to prohibit government funding of the BSA and other organizations that discriminate against queer folk and atheists.

I wouldn't recommend donating to the Human Rights Campaign; it's a less progressive organization that engages in a lot of politicking and is (I think) overly willing to compromise, especially in those cases where the people who'd be most hurt by the compromise are groups other than middle-to-upperclass gay men, such as women, trans* folk, poor and working class people, etc.
muccamukk: Wanda walking away, surrounded by towering black trees, her red cloak bright. (Marvel: Rainbow -hugs-)

From: [personal profile] muccamukk


That's a really tough call. I think it is difficult for anyone who doesn't have a special needs child to realise how tough. I think (not that you asked, but ah well) that offering equal funds to a queer rights organisation is a good balance, though perhaps you could also write a letter about your feelings on the topic to BSA's national office?
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